Going it alone

I'm not sure how much I'll be posting. I'm having to drop the internet until I get my finances straightened out. I'm going to be doing a lot of journaling. If I get access to the internet, say at the library or something, I'll maybe post some of the work I'll be doing while I'm not watching TV (had to let the cable TV go too) or messing around on the internet. I'm gonna try to really do some internal work on myself, take charge of my own recovery, instead of just drifting along from church to therapist to family and round and round and round, listening to whoever is speaking, not really sure who to believe, not at all sure I trust any of them. Well, forget that, I have a ton of really good books and workbooks, some Christian and some secular, that I have barely even begun. I've always wanted to teach these books, because I've thought that that's what it would take to get me to engage with them. Well, that's not gonna happen for very good reason. You can't teach what you haven't yet learned. They can talk about "facilitating" until they're blue in the face, but it really comes down to teaching. I wanna get my walk to start looking quite a bit more like my talk.