Baptists

Ya know, I grew up hating Baptists. They were too strident, too sure of everything, too demanding of the rest of us. Everything was black or white with them. Two of the things that changed my mind were their music and their knowledge of scripture.

First, their music. A lot of hymns are common to a lot of denominations. I've heard the same hymns in Methodist and Presbyterian churches that I've heard in Baptist churches. Of course, in the Lutheran church that I grew up in, anything from the 16th century was considered New Age. "Rock of Ages" was Rock 'N' Roll. I'm not sure if anybody was actually trying to sing the Lutheran music, all I remember was a long, dull drone . . . accompanied by Mel Schulz (God rest his soul) pounding loudly on the organ. There are four really big Baptist churches in our medium-sized town. Back when I was 21, I looked at the sea of grey heads in the Lutheran church and thought that maybe I'd like to go somewhere else to church. I don't know how I wound up in my first Baptist church, but it seemed to be where everybody else was going. I couldn't believe this. People (don't laugh) SMILED IN CHURCH. I didn't think that was allowed. I remember actually wanting to go up and ask somebody why they allowed everybody to smile and laugh in this church. I didn't, thank goodness. Now, they smile and laugh at the Lutheran church. Back when I was a kid, you just didn't do that. Church was a solemn occasion.

Anyway, back to their music. Once I got inside, I eventually found out what it was that made these people so happy. They had these hymns with words like "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey." Now, I'd heard a lot about being good in Jesus, and obedience was a pretty common theme. But, the very idea that somebody would write a song about being good and happy at the same time. And, this church that I was going to, they sang that song near every Sunday. They just loved that song. The more I heard it, the more I liked it. At first it seemed like just another moralistic admonition to obey. "Yeah, that sounds like Baptists, alright. Always scolding." But, the more I heard it, the more the happiness angle got through. Like, they were telling me that they knew the secret to being happy for the rest of your life.

Well, anyway, I can't rhapsodize on that any longer. On to their knowledge of scripture. I guess I should say our knowledge of scripture.

I guess everybody could say that they've met a lot of people in their life. I'd dare to say that I've met a wider variety than most, though. Because I'm scared to death of relationships, because they never last long with me, because I'm real good at making friends but real bad at keeping them, . . . I've known a lot of people. Everybody knows a little bit of Scripture, and everybody thinks they know the Bible a whole lot better than they really do. There are only a few people that ever really impressed me with their Bible knowledge, and only one of those wasn't a professional Bible speaker. He was working beside me on an assembly line. His name was Steve Tipton. I think he had just finished college and had come home to get married before attending Baptist seminary. We struck up a conversation because he remembered riding the bus with me when we were little kids. As a kid, I only remember Steve as the steady one, friendly, kind of protective, but never really enough that I even learned his name. I just remember his face, always just being there, watching. I met him right around the time I was getting saved. I started arguing scripture with him, and I just wouldn't let up. The difference between him and me was that I'm one of those people who doesn't know as much Scripture as they think they know. But, for every verse I knew, he knew where to find it in the Bible, and he knew an answering verse to support his point and where to find his verse in the Bible. That was almost enough, but not quite. Then, he nailed me. He quoted a verse I'd never heard before. At least, I didn't remember hearing it. I wasn't familiar with it, wasn't expecting it. I guess I thought that anybody that could beat me in a Biblical argument, well their religion maybe deserved a hearing. He suggested that I check out East Side Baptist Church. I went to East Side Baptist church the next Sunday night I think it was. I've been there off and on ever since. I guess I've pretty much been a Baptist since then. Sometimes I think I can't stand them. Sometimes, I want to just kill the lot of 'em. A lot of the time, I think they wanna kill me. [Chuckle] Well, it's all Steve's fault, y'all.