Herman Badillo's American Dream

Herman Badillo, the first Puerto Rico born U.S. congressman, is simply sounding to the hispanic community the same cry that Bill Cosby raised in the black community a few years ago. You have to rise up and take responsibility for climbing out of poverty.

This reminds me of a book I read on treating the chronically mentally ill. It advised social workers to listen to us and not always just assume that everything we said was just more evidence of whatever disturbance they'd diagnosed us with. From this article, Stalled in America in http://www.opinionjournal.com/taste/?id=110009450, it sounds like hispanics and others are getting the same treatment by overworked social workers. Social workers like to pigeonhole people. That can be helpful for getting us help, but it's a model that doesn't allow for growth. I imagine that it is those same workers, with lots of education, but little idea for what actually works that are influencing educational policy that Mr. Badillo objects to. Social workers are not bad. To some extent, I think we need to listen to them more. But, "you shall know them by their fruits." Take advice from social workers in the trenches that you see honestly making changes and advocating for their clients, not from silly lobbyists.

Gettin' Whooped

Well, I'm a Republican; and we got whooped pretty soundly last election. I guess, though I voted a pretty straight Republican ticket, I wasn't really that concerned about winning. It just seems like we already said what we had to say. There is a quiet-spoken moral majority that will vote as a block when it, like a sleeping giant, is aroused. It is not fooled by pretenders with bright smiles and false words. We're not stupid. We've seen salesmen before. We are less concerned with how slick someone seems on camera than how genuine he seems, how true. Not a pretense at "Aw, shucks," folksy charm, a sense that there's something true about a person. We'll be true to such a man through a lot of mistakes.

We're begging for an honest to goodness LEADER, not just another politician. A Churchill would be nice, but we'll take whatever genuine leadership we can find. We are a country of fatherless children and husbandless wives and men who want a strong example set for them. That is as important as all the politics in the world. Bureaucrats run the country. We need a strong father figure to lead the country. Does that sound really wacked out? Am I just bein' nutty 'cause it's too early in the morning to be talkin' politics?

Elections

US Rep. in the 1st Cong. Dist - Stubby Stumbaugh
Governor - Asa Hutchinson
Lt. Governor - Jim Holt
Secretary of State - Jim Lagrone
Attorney General - Gunner Delay
State Treasurer - Chris Morris
State Rep. Dist. 86 - Kelley Linck
County Assessor - Janet Lacefield
JP Dist. 4 - John D. Ayers
JP Dist. 7 - Wade Robson
JP Dist. 8 - Diana Turner
JP Dist 9 - Lynn Lasky
JP Dist. 11 - Joshua Davis
Constable Dist. 3 - Dale Jones

Steve Arterburn

Looking for Mr. Arterburn's own blog yesterday, I found a lot about a remark that had been made about him by Al Mohler, Dean of one of the Baptist seminaries, and a very outspoken conservative commentator. He's worth a listen, though I only agree with him most/some of the time.

I'd like to say just a couple of words (if you know me, you know that'll be unlikely) in Mr. Arterburn's defense. When I first heard that Mr. Arterburn had been married twice, I was appalled that he would be on a show that gives out advice to people about their marriages.

Over time, though, . . . I think of Steve like I think of Bonnie Raitt (my favorite singer). They surround themselves with the very best, and then they know when to speak and when to be quiet, when to play and when to play it straight. The difference, of course, is that what we hear of Bonnie is only the selected bits that she chooses to put on albums. Steve has the courage to come out on the air, unedited, every day, for the sake of giving hope and help to many people. I'll give ya that Steve has some weaknesses, but he's not just putting a load on my back. He's bringin' some people into his studio to help him tell me how to carry the load that I already have. And, those of us who know Steve kind of take his advice on marriages with a grain of salt. Steve just has to talk for a few minutes because it takes Henry 5 minutes to figure out what he thinks. Of course, when he does, it is SO WORTH LISTENIN' TO. But, you can't just have dead air for that 5 minutes. And, they do generally try to point people back to the Scriptures and scriptural principles.

As Paul forgave Mark, maybe you could forgive Steve. He's an encourager to us. He's not always entirely wise (who is), but his kindness and generosity make up for it.

On our radio station, New Life Live follows right after Tony Evans. So, right after Tony hits me up side the head (Like, would you wake up already!), I need New Life to come put ointment and a bandage on the wound and point and encourage me that I am able to do what Tony told me to do.

Links - political

For discussion of current public-policy issues that are facing the American political system, try the resources at the Institute for Philosophy and Public Policy at www.puaf.umd.edu/ippp/

For a basic "front door" to almost all U.S. government Web sites, click onto the very useful site maintained by the Univesity of Michigan http://www.lib.umich.edu/govdocs

I don't know how I happened upon it, but you can just find all kinds of stuff in The National Archives at http://www.archives.gov/historical.docs/document.html?doc=38title.raw=Constitution!252

If you want to look at state constitutions, go to www.findlaw.com/casecode/state.html

Project Vote Smart's Web site on current issues in American government offers a number of articles. Go to www.vote-smart.org/issues/

You can find a directory of numerous federalism links at www.gmu.edu/

The Brookings Institution's policy analyses and recommendations on a variety of issues can be accessed at www.brook.edu/

For a libertarian approach to issues relating to federalism, go to the Cato Institute's Web page at www.cato.org/

National Assocation of State Information Resource Executives: www.nasire.org/

The American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), the leading civil liberties organization, provides an extensive array of information and links concerning civil rights issues at www.aclu.org/

The Liberty Counsel describes itself as "a nonprofit religious civil liberties education and legal defense organization established to preserve religious freedom." The URL for its Web site is www.ic.org/

If you want to read historica Supreme Court decisions, you can find them, listed by name at supct.law.cornell.edu/supct/

The Center for Democracy and Technology (CDT) focuses on how development in communications technology are affecting the constitutional liberties of Americans. You can access the CDT's site at www.cdt.org/

An extensive collection of information on Martin Luther King, Jr., is offered by the Martin Luther King Papers Project at Stanford university. If you wish to check out these papers, go to www.stanford.edu/group/King/

If you are interested in learning more about the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) or want to find out how to file a complaint with that agency, go to www.eeoc.gov/

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is online at www.naacp.org/

For information on the League of Latin American Citizens, go to www.mundo.com/lulac.html

The URL for Women's Web World, which provides information on empowerment and equality for women, is www.feminist.org/

If you wish to contact the National Organization for Women (NOW) or check out the resources and links it offers, go to www.now.org/

You can find information on the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990, including the act's text, at janweb.icdi.wvu.edu/kinder

You can access the Web site of the Human Rights Campaign Fund, the nation's largest gay and lesbian political organization, at www.hrc.org/

If you are interested in children's rights and welfare, a good starting place is the Web site of the Child Welfare Institute. Go to www.gocwi.org/

FindLaw, at www.findlaw.com/ U.S. House of Representatives Law Library, at law.house.gov/
Legal Resource Guide, at www.ilrg.com/

Yale University Library, one of the great research institutions, has a Social Science Library and Information Services. If you want to roam around some library sources of public opinion data, this is an interesting site to visit. Go to www.library.yale.edu/socsci/opinion/

According to its home page, the mission of National Election Studies (NES) "is to produce high quality data on voting, public opinion, and political participation that serves the research needs of social scientists, teachers, students, and policymakes concerned with understanding the theoretical and empirical foundations of mass politics in a democratic society." This is a good place to obtain information related to public opinion. Find it at www.umich.edu/~nes/

The Pew Charitable Trusts serves the public interest by providing information, advancing policy solutions and supporting civic life. The Trusts will invest $248 million in fiscal year 2007 to provide organizations and citizens with fact-based research and practical solutions for challenging issues. http://www.pewtrusts.org/

Now, with the explosion of weblogs and Web 2.0 services such as search, tagging, and Technorati, the Web itself has become a single, massive-scale outlet for citizen journalism. One simply doesn't need Command Post much anymore, but we're keeping the site up as an archive ... a small historical landmark along the hyperlink highway. "Oh, look, honey," Web travelers might say, "here's where average people around the world first collaboratively reported and documented history for themselves on a global scale." Something may happen one day that warrants reactivation of the network, but until then, please read and enjoy. http://www.command-post.org/

The Corner on National Review Online http://corner.nationalreview.com/

John H. Hinderaker is a lawyer with a nationwide litigation practice. Scott W. Johnson is a Minneapolis attorney. For more than 10 years, they have written on public policy issues. Paul Mirengoff is an attorney in Washington, D.C. They publish at http://www.powerlineblog.com/

History and history in the making at the Belmont Club http://www.belmontclub.blogspot.com/ for earlier posts. Newer posts are on http://fallbackbelmont.blogspot.com/.

Roger L. Simon is a mystery novelist and screenwriter. He can be found at http://www.rogerlsimon.com/

James Lileks, a columnist for the Star-Tribune and syndicated political humor columnist for Newhouse News Service, publishes humiliating defenseless ephemera at http://www.lileks.com/

Captain's Quarters - Thus every blogger, in his kind, is bit by him who comes behind -- http://www.captainsquartersblog.com/mt/

The Evangelical Outpost - reflections on culture, politics, and religion from an evangelical worldview - http://www.evangelicaloutpost.com/

Gideons

I sometimes have some fairly unpopular opinions. This is one of those times.

This morning, at my church, we had a Gideon speaker get up to speak. As soon as he got up to speak, this scripture started running through my head. It was something about not throwing your pearls before swine.

Right before the Gideon speaker, we had heard about our church's ministry in Brazil. I'd been wondering why we had to go halfway across the world to minister the gospel. When the Gideon speaker got up, he shed some light on the subject. We have callused our Western world by over-disseminating the gospel, maybe.

This is, trust me, such a strange thought for me to have. I grew up wanting to be a sort of biblical Johnny Appleseed. I remember in grade school, when I heard the story of Johnny Appleseed, I literally wanted to be like him, except scattering God's Word all over the world.

The problem is that I hear God's Words spoken by the strangest people in bus stations and homeless shelters. Everyone knows a couple of verses by which they justify their lifestyle, but nobody knows or has much interest in knowing the whole book. It's like Western society has been given a Gospel innoculation to make it immune to the real Gospel message.

Here are some notes from an article on the Rev. Gregory A. Boyd of Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul. I don't entirely agree with him, but I think he has some points.

A common concern is that the Christian message is being compromised by the tendency to tie evangelical Christianity to the Republican Party and American nationalism, especially through the war in Iraq.

I'm a dedicated Republican, as it so happens. But, I agree that the inextricable tying of evangelicals to the Republican Party is disastrous. It leaves us talking about political issues more than we talk about Jesus Christ. People who don't agree with our politlcal convictions might not be attracted to the Savior if we identify the two so closely.

He said there were Christians on both the left and the right who had turned politics and patriotism into “idolatry.”

It seems to me that Christians of all stripes are turning a lot of different leaders into idols, political leaders = political idols. religious leaders = religious idols. I think we should look back to what God said to the Israelites when they wanted a king. As Christians, God is our leader.

“I am sorry to tell you,” he continued, “that America is not the light of the world and the hope of the world. The light of the world and the hope of the world is Jesus Christ.”

I think that abortion and homosexuality are bad things, but I think that they are nowhere near as bad as people dying and going to hell. I never shop at our local Wallgreen's because of their support of homosexuality. But, I don't see many commandments in the Bible about trying to contain or hinder the sin of the world. I see commandments about weeding out sin in my life, to perfect my testimony to that world. I also see statements about shining as a light to a lost world. We can't stop the world from being . . . worldly. The god of this world is the devil. We shouldn't be surprised if the world is more and more evil. We should pick out battles and not waste our time trying to change the world. We should, instead, divide and conquer. Change individuals with the gospel and the world may slowly change a little.

AMEN, Rivkin & Casey

A few quotes taken from David Rivkin & Lee Casey's Article "The British Way" from THE WALL STREET JOURNAL's Editorial Page.

Indeed, judging by some of the more extreme criticism leveled against war-on-terror policies, there are those who consider as the purest tyranny any compromise of individual autonomy to meet the community's needs.

For 30 years, Britain's military and law-enforcement forces investigated, infiltrated, surveilled and openly fought the IRA and won, deriving two important advantages in the process. First, Britain's armed forces and police have been thoroughly schooled in the most advanced techniques of surveillance and counterterrorism. Second, its political establishment and population (obviously, with some exceptions) have become accustomed to the measures, sometimes intrusive and burdensome, necessary to prevent terrorist attacks.

The United States cannot, of course, adopt all aspects of the British system; our constitutional systems are really quite different. Nevertheless, there are clear lessons that can be drawn from the British experience--especially in affording the police greater investigative latitude and in accepting some compromise of privacy in exchange for a greater security. Bush administration critics often misquote Benjamin Franklin as having said that "those who would trade liberty for security deserve neither." What Franklin actually proposed was a balancing test: "They that would give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." In fighting terrorism, the British appear to have been striking that balance successfully.

Internet supervision

Marybeth Hicks has a great article on how she'd rather be an overprotective momma than ever see her kids on the 6:00 news. http://www.jewishworldreview.com/0806/hicks081006.php3

EU: Hezbollah not a terrorist group ?

"'Given the sensitive situation, I don't think we will be acting on this now,' said Finnish foreign minister Erkki Tuomioja, speaking for the 25 member states of the European Union, which this week rebuffed a plea from 213 U.S. congressmen to brand Hezbollah a terrorist group." - Diana West

"Some Islamist groups, notably Hezbollah, Hamas, Islamic Jihad in Palestine and Al-Qaeda have used suicide bombers against civilians, soldiers, and government officials of the regimes that they oppose." -Wikipedia

"Nowadays, Hezbollah operates a number of operative agents in Israel, whose objectives are threefold:

• Establishing and developing terrorist groups in Israel with the purpose of perpetrating terrorist attacks in Israel, orchestrated directly by Hezbollah.
• Smuggling arms and ammunition ­including rockets ­and concealing them in Israel.
• Providing logistic and operative assistance for perpetrating terrorist attacks in Israel by Palestinian terrorist groups based in the Palestinian Authority administered territories." -- The Lebanese Foundation for Peace

In April 2005 Al-Manar (Hezbollah's satellite TV station) broadcast a 12-part series, also produced in Syria, the biography of Yehia Ayash (“the engineer”), one of Hamas’ most vicious senior terrorists. The series exalted and glorified Yehia Ayash, turning a brutal killer into a role model.(Between 1994 and 1996 he was behind several suicide bombing attacks in Israeli cities whose aim was to sabotage the Oslo peace process, and was responsible for the killing, wounding and maiming of hundreds of Israeli civilians.) http://www.intelligence.org.il/eng/sib/6_05/hezb_pub_e.htm

What I keep thinking as I'm reading up on this is . . . If right and wrong are determined by who seems to be getting the worst of the fight at the moment, the underdog, then the scales of our foreign policy will keep tipping back and forth as we support one movement until it gets strong enough to prevail, then we turn and start supporting its rival. This seems to be a very unstable way to determine foreign policy. This is what public opinion will do, though, without some intervention. Govt. leaders: When it comes to things as difficult to understand as terrorism, we've got to count on you, to some degree, to act in our best interest and not listen to us whining and mewing. Please hire people who are better and smarter than us, 'cause honestly we're pretty confused.

Sudden Jihad Syndrome

Have you heard of Sudden Jihad Syndrome? I hadn't. Jeff Jacoby mentions it today over at Jewish World Review (http://www.jewishworldreview.com/jeff/jacoby080706.php3), as he discusses Naveed Haq. Mr. Haq "forced his way into the offices of the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle by holding a gun to the head of a 13-year-old girl. Once inside, Haq announced, "I am a Muslim American, angry at Israel," and opened fire with two semi-automatic pistols. Pam Waechter, 58, died on the spot. Five other women, one of them 20 weeks pregnant, were shot in the abdomen, knee, or arm."

How does a country maintain freedom of religion when one of the religions is determined to make war on the other? Must not freedom of religion in this case give way to other freedoms, like freedom from semi-automatic pistol fire?

Child Custody Protection Act

I'm not terribly strident about abortion to tell you the truth. Maybe I should be. I don't know. I guess what disturbs me most about interstate transportation of minors to obtain an abortion is not the abortion. It's that we're institutionalizing (if that's the right word) the circumvention of our laws. Disrespect for authority is pretty common among teenagers. Did I hear right that Senator Reid's block of the CCPA's passage into conference committee, thus keeping it from becoming law this term, was about his concern that clergy be allowed to circumvent the state laws? It's like the left's trying to play the church vs. state card that it's seen work so well for the right.

Whether you're left, right, or center, we have laws in this country. Circumventing them is not good. Teaching our children that politics or religion make breaking the law okay is horrible.

Of course, our getting our kids to pray at football games, refusing to acknowledge certain supreme court rulings falls under the same heading. The right is just as bad as the left.

Deity Over Dignity

I was just looking at the passages in Mark and Luke where the disciples are bragging about how they saw a man driving out demons in Jesus' name and commanded him to stop it, because he wasn't one of them. But, Jesus told them that who wasn't against them was for them. I think there are some subtleties to that, because later the seven sons of Sceva got some seriously bad results from trying to drive out demons in Jesus' name. But, this passage (passages) reminds me of the relationship between me and my church. I try to do good things by studying and volunteering and things that I don't have to do. I could just sit at home and watch TV and play video games all day. I've been cleaning my house today. That's a huge step for me. If I told them, they wouldn't care. Nothing matters to them except that I don't have a job. I'm sure you don't see how this relates at all to this passage. I probably just sound like I'm griping for no reason at all. I'm like the man who wasn't one of the disciples. I'm not like all the others at church. I'm different from them. I don't fit in, so they don't know what to do with me. But, just because I don't fit in with them, doesn't make me against Jesus. If I'm not against them, and I'm certainly not, then let's all play on the same team. I've probably oversimplified things. I just get tired of people, in the name of love, voicing condescension and anything but love. It hurts.

Escalating Conflict

I just read an article by Jeff Jacoby in the Jewish World Review called Hezbollah is our Enemy, too (http://jewishworldreview.com/jeff/jacoby073106.php3). I confess. I haven't really been keeping up with the news lately. I've heard people make stray comments about something going on over in Israel and thought that I really ought to check that out. Sometimes, I'm just really off in my own little world. I know that's irresponsible.

After reading Jeff Jacoby's article, I wonder if part of our government's refusal to get involved has to do with the fact that it's Israel that they'd be seen as defending. Would Mr. Bush maybe not want it to seem that his evangelical convictions were setting his foreign policy, and therefore . . . I don't know how to say it. You know how a teacher is harder on her own child than on any other child, lest she be seen to show favoritism.

Then, there's the fact that our troops are already committed in Iraq. Do we really want to be fighting on two fronts if we don't absolutely have to? Is this attack on Israel a ploy by Hezbollah against the United States? Are they concerned about our slow but steady progress in Iraq? I don't know much of anything about military tactics. When we're done in Iraq, it would be very satisfying to just knock Hezbollah into the middle of the next century. But, maybe our commanders know what they're doing for now.

Philip's Prophesying Daughters

I just finished reading the Everyday with Jesus Newsletter from Lifeway. I kind of liked it, but I have to take exception with it in a small way. Philip's four prophesying daughters in Acts 21:9 are seen as courageous and creative for speaking up despite their singleness and their femininity, which wasn't valued much back then.

I think that we don't much understand these days what the word prophesy means. I don't suppose any special brilliance about Greek or anything. It just seems like I understand the Word best when I test it and really try to live it out. To me, the word prophecy has come to mean having something to say that's not my word, that's God's word. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, God's word will get me so excited that I'll start embellishing it with my words. I ABSOLUTELY MUST NOT DO THAT. God's words are standalone. They are what they are. I have to just say them and then let people do what they will with them, without my help. Nothing I can add can make God's words better. When I hear what this writer from Lifeway says about Philip's daughters, I want to say . . . don't you get it? If the God who made heaven and earth tells you to say something, you say it. Period. If you don't say it, you bear the responsibility for it. You have to say it. Lots of people don't really want to hear what I have to say. It doesn't matter. I won't be able to sleep until I've said those words to someone. If I don't say them to this crowd, I'll feel so guilty because I know this is what God wants. Sometimes, I'm not really sure whether it was really God or whether I'm just crazy. But if there is a question, I would rather have gone out on a limb for God and looked like a fool than to have sat around my whole life wandering if that could really be God's voice calling me.

Arguing with giants

Sometimes I love to read blogs by professors and educated people on the web. It's stimulating. Sometimes I feel like a real dummy in trying to respond to them, though. I don't have an education. Once upon a long time ago, I used to be smart. But, I think ya lose some of that as the years go by, if you don't use it continually. I don't know if my thoughts and ideas have any merit or worth. I just throw them out here like I'm so sure of everything. Then sometimes later, I think what am I doing arguing with this giant, or that kid in school who sounds like he knows twice as much as I do?

Worship

I was just reading Albert Mohler's post about worship. Admittedly, I didn't have time to finish it yet. I'll finish it tonite. Before I forget, I just wanted to put my two cents in on the topic. When I'm worshiping, the things we fight about just seem immaterial. We just seem to be missing the point.

People around me seem to think that "young" worship has to do with clapping or style of music or raising hands or some outward thing. (What clapping is really good for is giving my little hyperactive nieces something to keep them busy and out of trouble. They're not good at following the words to the songs yet, but I can keep them out of trouble clapping.) I'm not so young anymore (38), but what I'm seeking is none of those things. It's connection. Anything that facilitates that connection is something that we welcome (sometimes too readily.)

This Sunday, though, it happened this way. I slipped into the back row. My Sunday School teacher slipped in beside me. There was an adorable baby in her momma's arms in front of us. My teacher and her husband started playing quietly with this baby. I just got the thought . . . that's what God's like with us. We're all like that little baby to him. Oh, there's no words. Don't we all love playing with babies. I don't know why. But, it just seemed like God was saying to me that we were all His babies and he delighted in each of us just like we delighted in that little baby in front of me. This made me just beam up at Him, . . . like a bloomin' idiot. God loves me so much, and I make such a mess of it. It's just so wonderful to believe that He still loves me and forgives me and values me. What could possibly be better! Speaking in tongues couldn't be better than just that knowledge. I'm not saying that I don't believe in speaking in tongues. I'm just saying that I have absolutely no need of it. I have all I need. I have God. He's just so cool sometimes. It doesn't matter what you do or what you wear. What matters is what condition your heart is in. James would say that what you do and what you wear (fruit) is certainly an indicator of where your heart is and therefore important. Music and message can certainly have a little influence over the condition of your heart, but nothing can really dim joy that you've spent all week cultivating and preparing for. Hymns. Praise music. I love them all. I like worshiping in comfortable clothes in the evening, but I think getting at least a little dressed up on Sunday morning is a witness to my neighbors. But all that isn't really about worship at all. It's about something else. It's peripheral. It's like a nat detracting from worship. Get over it.

Baptists

Ya know, I grew up hating Baptists. They were too strident, too sure of everything, too demanding of the rest of us. Everything was black or white with them. Two of the things that changed my mind were their music and their knowledge of scripture.

First, their music. A lot of hymns are common to a lot of denominations. I've heard the same hymns in Methodist and Presbyterian churches that I've heard in Baptist churches. Of course, in the Lutheran church that I grew up in, anything from the 16th century was considered New Age. "Rock of Ages" was Rock 'N' Roll. I'm not sure if anybody was actually trying to sing the Lutheran music, all I remember was a long, dull drone . . . accompanied by Mel Schulz (God rest his soul) pounding loudly on the organ. There are four really big Baptist churches in our medium-sized town. Back when I was 21, I looked at the sea of grey heads in the Lutheran church and thought that maybe I'd like to go somewhere else to church. I don't know how I wound up in my first Baptist church, but it seemed to be where everybody else was going. I couldn't believe this. People (don't laugh) SMILED IN CHURCH. I didn't think that was allowed. I remember actually wanting to go up and ask somebody why they allowed everybody to smile and laugh in this church. I didn't, thank goodness. Now, they smile and laugh at the Lutheran church. Back when I was a kid, you just didn't do that. Church was a solemn occasion.

Anyway, back to their music. Once I got inside, I eventually found out what it was that made these people so happy. They had these hymns with words like "Trust and Obey, for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey." Now, I'd heard a lot about being good in Jesus, and obedience was a pretty common theme. But, the very idea that somebody would write a song about being good and happy at the same time. And, this church that I was going to, they sang that song near every Sunday. They just loved that song. The more I heard it, the more I liked it. At first it seemed like just another moralistic admonition to obey. "Yeah, that sounds like Baptists, alright. Always scolding." But, the more I heard it, the more the happiness angle got through. Like, they were telling me that they knew the secret to being happy for the rest of your life.

Well, anyway, I can't rhapsodize on that any longer. On to their knowledge of scripture. I guess I should say our knowledge of scripture.

I guess everybody could say that they've met a lot of people in their life. I'd dare to say that I've met a wider variety than most, though. Because I'm scared to death of relationships, because they never last long with me, because I'm real good at making friends but real bad at keeping them, . . . I've known a lot of people. Everybody knows a little bit of Scripture, and everybody thinks they know the Bible a whole lot better than they really do. There are only a few people that ever really impressed me with their Bible knowledge, and only one of those wasn't a professional Bible speaker. He was working beside me on an assembly line. His name was Steve Tipton. I think he had just finished college and had come home to get married before attending Baptist seminary. We struck up a conversation because he remembered riding the bus with me when we were little kids. As a kid, I only remember Steve as the steady one, friendly, kind of protective, but never really enough that I even learned his name. I just remember his face, always just being there, watching. I met him right around the time I was getting saved. I started arguing scripture with him, and I just wouldn't let up. The difference between him and me was that I'm one of those people who doesn't know as much Scripture as they think they know. But, for every verse I knew, he knew where to find it in the Bible, and he knew an answering verse to support his point and where to find his verse in the Bible. That was almost enough, but not quite. Then, he nailed me. He quoted a verse I'd never heard before. At least, I didn't remember hearing it. I wasn't familiar with it, wasn't expecting it. I guess I thought that anybody that could beat me in a Biblical argument, well their religion maybe deserved a hearing. He suggested that I check out East Side Baptist Church. I went to East Side Baptist church the next Sunday night I think it was. I've been there off and on ever since. I guess I've pretty much been a Baptist since then. Sometimes I think I can't stand them. Sometimes, I want to just kill the lot of 'em. A lot of the time, I think they wanna kill me. [Chuckle] Well, it's all Steve's fault, y'all.

E-Witness overload

Witnessing in a day of information overload must involve more than just shouting truth into the cacophony. The power that Christ has given to us is the power of prayer, the power to move heaven and earth by moving the heaven-and-earth-mover. I would rather shout at the wind because there's less warfare involved. Satan is not buffeting me when I post truth on the internet because he knows that no one important will ever see it. He moves heaven and earth to keep me off my knees, though. That would seem to tell me where my focus ought to be. I'd rather be posting, though. Why am I so stupid.

Good stuff

One of the ways that I know God is good is that I prayed that He would help me find my little miniature broom and dustpan. I haven't seen them in a while and things have begun to look pretty bad. Just a minute or so after I prayed that prayer, there was the broom and dustpan. This morning, I had a good time with God and I asked him for some big things for me, like a knowledge of His will for me and a deeper knowledge of Him and stuff like that. Then, I prayed for a couple of other people. It's been like God's been honoring that prayer this whole day.

Deity Over Dignity

I keep hearing Christians speak about counseling and I want to say something. Often I disagree with them. They're only half right because you can't really make blanket statements about counseling. Psychologists divide the patients they deal with into different Axes, depending on the severity of the problem the person is dealing with. The things we all understand, depression, anxiety, etc. . . . those things are easy to counsel. They are counseled well by Christians. They are straightforward. Disorders that end with the words Personality Disorder are more deeply rooted disorders. Christians have said to me over and over, "Well, we all have personality disorders, don't we?" Well, yes, of course, we all have sins and problems. We do not all have "personality disorders," though. Other children do not sit and sort and sort and sort and classify, rather than play, as I saw my niece doing this weekend. What she did reminded me so much of what I used to do for hours on end when I was a kid. Now, I make lists for hours on end to calm myself. I can list for 24 hours at a time, frantically. The things that Christians say don't apply to me then. I'm not reasonable. No reasonable approach will work because I don't understand why I'm afraid or even that I am afraid. I just have this strange compulsion to make a list of something.

Dress as Fruit

I just read a really exciting (to me, at least) post at http://wittingshire.blogspot.com/. I can't say how much I encourage you to go over and read it. We shouldn't judge people by their clothes, if they can't afford to wear better than they're wearing. But, choosing to wear grungy clothes says something about your character. To me, it suggests that the person wearing them lacks boundaries. Boundaries don't just express themselves between people. Boundaries are also about accepting responsibility. This has to do with the boundary between us and God, I think.

In an infamous passage somewhere in the Corinthian letters, Paul asks that women wear something on their heads. He justifies this by saying that it is done so in all the churches. The way we dress profoundly affects our witness to the world. Yes, WE shouldn't judge people negatively and be less than completely Christlike because of the way somebody dresses. We should, however, be aware that others do judge by what they see on the surface of our lives.

Am I saying that we should be superficial? It kinda sounds like it, huh? No, I think that we should have integrity, internal and external consistency, that we should let our relationship with Christ reform every single part of us. Then, we should never be embarassed to be completely who we are, completely honest. It is only this that is truly a witnesses. Witnessing isn't telling somebody about Jesus. It's being true, such that people cannot help but see the difference that Jesus is or is not making in my life.

Voice of Truth

I'm listening to this song by Casting Crowns called the Voice of Truth, I think. I just got the CD. I'm kind of new to Casting Crowns. "The Voice of Truth says do not be afraid." It's so reassuring to know that somebody else feels like this. When I hear that voice calling me to step out in faith, I get mad because I'm not sure that I can trust that voice and I'm even less sure that I can trust myself. Even if I make the decision that I wish I would make, how long will that decision last? How soon will I fall? It doesn't seem to take any time at all. So, when God calls me, I get mad. I don't ever want Him to stop calling, but yet at the same time I hate to hear Him because I know I'll fail again because I always fail. I HATE BEING A FAILURE. MY WHOLE LIFE THAT'S ALL I'VE DONE, FAIL AND FAIL AND FAIL AND FAIL. I'M SO TIRED OF FAILING. I HATE FAILING. I JUST HATE IT. I just can't bear trying anymore, so, in a way, I don't want to hear His voice, because then I'll feel compelled to try. But, I don't ever want to stop hearing His voice, because He's the only voice that loves me. I couldn't stand it if His voice ever went away. I just don't know what to do with the things He says, because I can't ever measure up.

I would not argue with Christians that say that our approach to life should be a reasonable response to Scripture, not generally based on unreliable dreams or visions, but Mark 14:13-16 has always perplexed me. It seems more magical than reasonable. How Jesus knew what He knew doesn't really worry me so much as the kind of indirect, imprecise, superstitious-sounding directions that he handed down to these disciples and expected them to carry them out without any question. Of course, they knew Him. They could see Him. They didn't have to test the spirits constantly as we do. Still, it seems strange. Jesus knew so much, why not just tell the disciples the name or the address of the place they were looking for? Why was he so strangely obscure? And, how God does or does not choose to do things is really not for me to question except in that it makes me wonder what kind of directions I should be expecting from Him.

Have I ever said bad things about Medicare Part D?

Medicare Part D is saving me some serious cash. I had thought that I wouldn't be able to get one of my meds because it wasn't covered by my Part D plan. Part D is saving me so much money that I can afford to buy it. It's not really all that expensive, just $20. So, whereas I was paying my druggist between $50-$70 a month. Now, I should come in around $35 a month.

Stem Cell Research

I thank "the view from her" for pointing out some interesting research on a stem cell therapy that might be as good as embryonic stem cells, and yet not involve a "disposable human" grown only for spare parts: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/4841786.stm

I read an editorial recently about how certain people, us silly Christians of course, are holding up important research just because we're paranoid about the "word" cloning. It's not the word. We're not stupid, and we're not scared of the new and the different as such. We have a different worldview. We believe in a soul that will live forever. We have no idea, at least as far as I know when that soul enters the body. Is it at birth? Is it at conception? Is it when the child becomes aware of itself as a separate being apart from its mother? Keep in mind that I'm not really talking about a personality. I'm talking about an eternal soul that will someday either wind up in heaven or hell. What is a soul? Where is it? Is there such a thing? You can't measure it scientifically. It is not provable. Therefore, all the nonsense from the pro-lifers about when life begins is rubbish. Life doesn't begin, at least not since a little before Adam. There was never any point in the womb when there isn't life. The womb is so absolutely bursting with life, it almost can't be contained. There is no beginning of life there, simply a passing of the baton through the umbilical cord to the next generation. When does that new life become sentient life? Who knows? What does that word mean, anyway? We don't really become sentient until we are finally born in heaven. Only then, do we really get the picture as to what it's all been about. Until then, we see dimly, through the haze of prior experiences that we're still trying to process. We are like a ball of tangled yarn.

I get lost in the maze of my own words and forget what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah, stem cells. I guess I can maybe understand why the scientific community is a little confused by the disconnect between our rhetoric and where we choose to place our outrage. If life begins at conception, aren't these embryonic stem cells already life that is being thrown away currently. We don't seem to have a problem with that, or at least I don't hear anybody protesting it. Am I wrong here? I don't really understand the science too well. Isn't a frozen embryo an egg and a sperm that have already been put together successfully? So, according to pro-lifers, it's a frozen baby. Why isn't that a big deal?

What I was going to say was, when a stem cell is grown or harvested or whatever, does the new life that was created when egg and sperm met and created this little sperm cell already have a soul? And how do we ensure that these little beings have at least an opportunity to choose heaven over hell? Little sperm cell missionaries? Chuckle.

"Educated"

Maria over on www.intueri.org/index.php?paged=2 seems to think that education can solve most of the world's problems. I so completely disagree with this point of view. I think that education is so overvalued. Education is like age. It only brings out more of what you were already. As an aged wine either becomes superb or becomes vinegar, so an aged person either becomes sweet or sour. Well, education is the same way. If you educate me, there's a certain little tripwire in my brain that will always be listening for something that I can use to kill myself with. I will be making A's, planning a successful life, doing fantastically, but as soon as I find a way to kill myself, I won't necessarily do it, but the countdown will have begun. Things will have started to get serious. Well, my suicidal ideation is neither here nor there. I don't need saving at all. I'm actually doing absolutely remarkable things according to my therapist. If you give education to somebody with the internal propensity to be the Unabomber, no amount of education is going to change that. If I'm not wrong, the Unabomber was extremely educated. Teach people to think.

Maria said: Perhaps people would be able to change their perspectives with greater ease and engage in problem-solving. How can I effect change without resorting to strapping bombs to my chest? How can I influence the situation without killing other people?

Yes, but you only change your perspective when you have some reason to. If you think you're right, and your way of thinking is working for you, what point is there in trying to change perspective? If you educate people who are inclined to strap bombs to their chests, they will build bigger bombs that don't have to be strapped to their chests but can be simply placed in a car outside. Education is an amplifier.

The Subject of Tongues

This is part of an email I got from Staff Chaplain/Instructor Timothy K. Bedsole SR.

I approach the subject of tongues based on the following principles:

1. Lordship Principle. It is the Giver of Gifts we are to seek above all; after that, the gifts a byproduct, or after-affect, of our relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

2. Historical Principle. In the text you mentioned, 1 Corinthians 14:39-40, Paul is dealing with a church that was having problems with leadership, worship, and a sense of direction. They were experiencing the challenge of living as a minority faith in a pagan society. I think it is good to understand the historical context of the scripture to better understand its application in today's world. It is comforting to me to know that what we face in today's society has been dealt with before and we can find wisdom in the Word of God for our life today. If that is true we need to look at how this scripture applies to today's Church. My interpretation is that if someone is speaking in tongues in a public setting there should be an order, or precedent, for the action. Mainly, is there an interpreter present to interpret what is being said? Paul gives guidance on this that I don't see followed in many worship services. We need to consider this when dealing with the gift of tongues.

3. Theological Principle. This is where it gets cloudy. I try to approach Christian Theology from a "systematic" study. Meaning I want to not look at just one scripture to form a belief but look through the Bible as a whole to gain a greater understanding of what God is trying to relate to us. In the ideas of Paul on tongues, you have to consider the book of Acts; and outside of the book of Acts and Corinthians there is not much mentioned on the gift of tongues -- be sure there are some who would differ with me on this -- and this means looking at what God was/is trying to do overall. With Acts, the speaking in tongues follows the outline given by Jesus in Acts 1:8 of the spread of the Gospel. Each time the event happens it parallels the words of Jesus to spread the gospel to Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria and the utter most parts of the earth. Go back and see if that parallel is there. To me the systematic approach asks, "How does this relate with the event in Corinthians, and how does it relate to the study of the Holy Spirit, the Believer's Sanctification, and of Spiritual Gifts?" Theologically, the Holy Spirit baptizes the believer upon salvation and the speaking of tongues is not a required "sign" of this event. Rather the fruits of the Spirit are more evidential signs of one being baptized in the Spirit. Of course you can tell I believe in one baptism and many fillings of the Holy Spirit. I don't believe that the speaking in tongues is evidence of a baptism of the Holy Spirit. I believe it is a language gift. In the case of Acts, it was used to spread the Gospel in the language of the hearer. In the case of Corinthians, I believe it is a language, or utterance, meant to edify the Church if there is a translator present. If it is practiced privately then it should be done privately and should be between you and God. I know this view is contested by many Baptists. My Criswell Study Bible notes tell me that Dr. Criswell believed, as do many Baptists, that the gift of tongues and prophecy ended with the CAnonization of the Bible. They interpret this from 1 Corinthians 13 where Paul mentioned, "Where there are tongues . . . they shall cease." I'm not ready to totally agree on that issue. I say this because there is too much other scriptural evidence to consider. However, I believe because of the "abuse" of the gift that thtere is some precedence for what they say.

4. Denominational Principle. Having gone through the Southern Baptist Educational system, I appreciate the training and understand some of the workings of our institutions of learning. I also know that the deeper things of God are a lifetime study. We do not always agree, and we do not always stay the same. The Baptist Faith and Message is a document meant to give a guideline, or basis, for Baptist belief. We are a complex denomination with many degrees of variations. The workings of a denomination are valuable over time. As Church history goes, there are many denominations that have "gone by the wayside" due to a weakening of their theology, which eventually weakened their congregations. This is the motivating factor in the Southern Baptist Denomination now. Understanding this helps you to know why you are hearing the things you do. Also, understand the IMB is only one part of the Southern Baptist Denomination. It only governs the missionaries overseas. This means that one Southern Baptist church may vary from another on its view of tongues. Understand we are a "bottom-up" group and we support the belief in the autonomy of the local church. That being said, I have attended Southern Baptist Churches in which I heard tongues in the worship service. We don't all agree on everything, but we try to get the basics together. That is the purpose of the Faith and Message. It is not a perfect document, but it is an attempt to keep us in agreement. It is an attempt to keep us from straying from God's word. I understand that this is not too popular in today's culture of individualism, but I still see the wisdom of a denomination - and the strength - as something we need to hold. Though there are many great non-denominational groups doing great ministry around the world, I see trouble ahead as the leadership and vision of these groups grow dim. They need something more to survive history, and this is where doctrine and denominations take hold. Having said this, I understand it is all in God's control and accept that He does not need any denomination to carry out his plan of redemtpion. He is Lord.

5. Personal Principle. This one I will save for another day. Just suffice it to say, Jesus is Lord and we are to seek Him as the Gift above the gifts.

I am not sure my words and thoughts are seamless - my wife tells me they are not - but I hope the thoughts do begin to add a measure of understanding to your interpretations. Don't worry about wasting my time. God called me to be a Pastor, and what you ask is what I am about. A saying I have read applies to your dilemma: "Science gives us big answers for small questions . . . while religion seeks to answer big questions with small answers." Keep seeking the answers in the Lord Jesus Christ. He will give you the answers that you need.

This was just enormously helpful for me. By posting it here, for one thing, I won't lose it.

Creative Potential

Over at http://marginal.typepad.com/, at the bottom of a post called "Home Repair," there's a statement that I like. "After God created the world, He rested. He didn't stop." That's a neat thought. I like that. "After God created the world, He rested. He didn't stop." Did he keep creating more original stuff? I've wondered. Everybody asks this question, as though it proves there must be extraterrestrial life, "How could there be that much stuff in the sky above us and no life on any of it?" I've always wondered if He takes the time when He can't stand to look at sin and goes and makes a lifeless galaxy or two. What does He do with His creative potential? Re-create us seems the obvious answer. I'm not sure about that, though. I don't see a lot of re-creation going on around here these days.

First Corinthians 14

Oh, Guys! Does anybody really understand 1 Corinthians 14? I thought it seemed like a perfectly simple passage. I thought the Southern Baptist church had just gone a little nuts on me. Then, today, I thought I'd better sit down and really study the passage before I go to really stirring up some serious dust in the Southern Baptist convention over a policy that I think is just flat-out wrong. (We're not letting people become missionaries if they speak in a "private prayer language." First Corinthians 14:39-40 says "So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. But all things should be done decently and in order." emphasis mine) Today though, as I was studying, it turns out that R. C. Sproul agrees with the SBC's position that Paul in ch. 14 is speaking of human languages, rather than any God-given ecstatic utterance. The whole chapter seems divided between things that make me nearly sure of one point of view and things that make me think the other. Is there any way to really understand this whole chapter well, or is this one that we're just going to have to wait until we get to heaven for?

Oh, Thank Goodness

Oh, thank goodness that last mistake was a mistake. I was getting pretty desperate. I didn't know what I was going to do. Now, I know what to do. I'm going out to celebrate. The formulary that AARP sent me in the mail was only a "Sample Formulary." I should have read it closer. It gave a website address on the back where you go to search the whole formulary, which I suppose is huge, bigger than they wanted to send out in the mail. The good news is that all the drugs that I thought were covered ARE covered. One that I've even always used generic for, I can afford to get the brand name for. The three drugs that I thought were going to cost me 70 some dollars are only going to cost me 15 dollars in copays. With that, I can afford to go back on the fourth drug. It only costs about 20 dollars. So, I'll be getting all my drugs for only about 35 dollars, a little less than half of what I thought I was going to be paying. Oh, what good news.

Formulary Madness (I am so ticked)

I thought that the biggest problem that I was going to have with Medicare Part D was just getting through the sign-up procedure. Not so. I got my card and packet from AARP MedicareRx Plan today. Two of the drugs that the formulary on Medicare's site said were offered by AARP are not listed in the packet that AARP sent me. So, I carefully examined Medicare's site and made this decision based on incomplete information. I thought that I could get three drugs (rather than the four I had been taking) for 70 some dollars. Instead, the plan will cover 2 for around 50 dollars. I am so upset that I think I'm just going to stop taking any of them. I'm confused and scared. My therapist was wants me to get a job, and now it's getting so expensive to buy medicine. I just want to shut down and not listen to anybody, curl up in a ball, sit here in my house and type lists of things. I'm scared. I don't know what to do.

Taxing Lobbyists

I just got something from Marion Berry that mentioned an attempt to reign in lobbyists in Washington. What would be wrong with them having to pay for access to legislators and their staffs?

Baffling Holiness

According to George Barna, holiness is a concept that is baffling to most Americans. I definitely understand. I'm pretty baffled myself. I remember reading Matthew 5:48 as a small child and coming to my mom very upset about it. Where do grace and holiness meet, other than in Christ, I mean? Somehow Christ is the answer to that question, isn't He? Galatians 2:17-21. Woodrow Kroll and Back to the Bible have an article referenced on Gospelcom, "How on Earth Can I Be Holy?" He quotes 1 Peter 1:16 and Titus 2:11-14. He quotes A.J. Gordon as saying, "I gravely fear than many Christians make the apostle's word, 'If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves,' the unconscious justification for a low standard of Christian living. It were almost better to overstate the possibilities of sanctification in an eager grasp after holiness, than to understate them in complacent satisfaction with a traditional unholiness." My brother and I have used a scripture, but it's not that one. Was it "There is none righteous, no not one," or "All have sinned and come short of the glory of God"? I don't remember. We subjected our parents and Christian leaders to some measure of scrutiny. Finding no one who did pass muster, we naturally assumed that no one could. Very little about the church seems to be of God. It does seem like a very human institution.

Changed lives are the best proof that God exists and has something to offer that I should seek Him. If you grow up without changed and changing lives in front of you, then all the Bible in the world will often do little good. Just as these days, I can't see the real church in front of me because the vision of my family keeps intruding to cloud my vision. So also, people today can't see what the Bible is really saying because they interpret it through the lens of the church experiences. These cloud their ability to perceive what the text is really saying.

Bible Study Questions to Answer

This is taken from my notes on "Living By The Book" by Howard and William Hendricks, Moody Press, 1998.

I. Observation

What do I see? What are the facts? What key words are crucial to what the author has to say? Use a concordance to find where else these words are used. Chart the flow of the passage. View the parts in light of the whole. Look for "but," "and," & "therefore." Read the text out loud. Read it in a different place than usual to get a new feel for it. Read the passage in different translations and paraphrases. Rewrite the text in your own paraphrase.

Diagram sentences. Look for questions and answers in the passage. Climax and resolution. Cause and effect. Etc. Is the passage a letter? A narrative? A poem? Something else? What is the setting? Who are the people in the text? What does each person have to say?

How does the author feel? What was it like to be in his shoes? Read from the perspective of the different characters involved. Read from God's perspective. Read from Satan's perspective. Read from Jesus' perspective. Read from the perspective of someone who knows nothing of the Bible or religious things.

What are the relationships between the characters? What feelings might be involved? What practical considerations? What is happening? In what order? What happens to the characters? What is the argument? What is the point? What is the writer trying to communicate? What's wrong with this picture?Where is the narrative taking place? Where are the people in the story? Where are they coming from? Where are they going? Where were the original readers? When did the events in the text take place? When did they occur in relation to other events in Scripture? When was the writer writing? Why is this included? Why is it placed here? Why does this person say that? Why does someone in the story say nothing?

II. Interpretation

What does it mean? Bombard the text with questions. Look for the answers to your questions based on your observations. Put the answers together into a meaningful whole. Reconstruct the meaning of the passage after you've taken it apart to inspect the details. What can you discover about the original context in which this passage was written and applied? Given that original context, what does this text mean? What fundamental, universal truths are presented in this passage? Can you state that truth in a simple sentence or 2, a statement that anyone could understand? What issues in your own culture and your own situation does this truth address? What are the implications of this principle when applied to your life and the world around you? What changes does it require? What values does it enforce? What difference does it make? What questions remain unanswered? What problems does this text create? What issues does it speak to?

Is there an example to follow? Is there a sin to avoid? Is there a promise to claim? Is there a prayer to repeat? Is there a command to obey? Is there a condition to meet? Is there a verse to memorize? Is there an error to mark? Is there a challenge to face?

III. Application

So what? Ask yourself how this particular passage will work in your life. Ask yourself how this passage could transform others' lives

Nothing good happens fast. Be patient. Come to every text as if you've never seen it before. Read meditatively. Pray the passage for myself & others.

Prayer Requests

I can often tell when somebody's praying for me. It always starts me on the path of putting things right. I feel carried along. It's easier to make the right choices. It's suddenly easier to stand before God and make requests of Him myself. Those prayers are like a loan of faith to prime my pump with. Why does the church begrudge me that prayer? Paul's prayers were primarily for spiritual needs; when the church asks for prayer requests, why is it uncomfortable when they aren't physical? We act as though the physical world is the real world. At prayer meeting on Wednesday night, you can listen to the people speak for themselves, instead of just believing what the pastor says about them. How commited to God are Americans? It depends whom you ask. Two recent surveys by the Barna Group reveal a gap between the perception of pastors and the reality of their congregants' devotion to God. The average Protestant church leader believes that 70 percent of those in his or her church consider faith in God to be their top priority in life. Yet only 23 percent of Protestant church attenders claim their faith as first priority. The discrepancy may lie in different ways of measuring devotion to God. The pastors interviewed tended to assess devotion based on outward factors such as church attendance or participation in church-related ministries and activities.

Sunday School & Honesty

I had not been intending to talk over this thing that happened in Sunday School before. I had just decided to avoid Sunday School and all small groups. I knew that wasn't a great idea. I just didn't know what else to do. Yesterday, my therapist and I sat down and talked about what I needed to do differently in Sunday School and other small groups so that I could learn to negotiate them with more success. "Take a step back. Let other people lead the discussion. Don't be always trying to prove my worth by the information and insight I have to offer. Make it my goal to listen to other people's contributions and find value in what they have to say. Value possible relationships more than perfect understanding of the text."

What had happened before was that I heard my S.S. teacher talking about the times and recommended that he watch "Fight Club." He heard that it was a Brad Pitt movie and discounted it, as though Brad Pitt was the only reason a person would watch the movie. He's no fan of Mr. Pitt's so he had no interest in what I was trying to say to him. I wanted to scream. I felt so disrespected. Well, I sat down and watched my copy of "Fight Club" with my S.S. teacher in mind. Before, it has always seemed so profound. When I watched it through his eyes, though, it was just profane and violent. He'd never make it all the way through the movie to get to the point.

I just wanted to be regarded as an equal, rather than a child. I'm the same age as his daughter, Lori, but they speak of her as though she's a fellow adult. They talked like they respected and liked my little brother (14 years younger than me), telling me that he ought to be president one day. My brother and my mom talk about these two teachers (husband and wife) that teach my S.S. class like they're so wonderful. The thing is, it's my brother that showed me "Fight Club." I was so blown away by it that I promptly purchased it. My brother, when told of this teacher's reaction to my suggestion, looked down on me and said that he would never have mentioned it to this particular teacher, a man who really wears his Baptist faith on his sleeve at school and wherever he is. That seems so false, though. My brother lets people think they know him, but he's manipulating people with half truths -- the same way I used to, back before my 1988 car accident. Kevin talks like he's so touch, like he doesn't care what anybody thinks. He and my mom think that I am a slave to the opinions of others. They treat me with scorn.

"Good Will Hunting"

I bought the movie, "Good Will Hunting." I just watched through the commentary track. It made me want to move up to Boston where people are more liberal and wouldn't hate me so much. But, I think people would feel the same anywhere. I sit back as a spectator. I analyze and judge the rest of the world with this arrogant, superior attitude. I think I can tell them all what they're doing wrong and right, how they ought to live. But, I'm too scared to sctually live life. I don't engage in relationships. I'm too scared to have actual relationships. What I have are excuses.

Church Burnings

People who would burn the physical church are people who have had the people of the church, of many churches, over and over and over, value the church building more than they value them. It's one thing to feel unseen, unheard and unwanted in the church. It's another to then hear that church worshiping its building, pastoral staff, and the church itself in a sick idolatry. C.S. Lewis described this thing that I guess I'm seeing in "The Four Loves." When he described friend-love, he described a love that always has to exclude something. If a church cultivates that kind of friend-love which always excludes someone (he says it so much better than I do), then perhaps it is not the world that will burn down such churches, but unbalanced christians who have been hurt and hurt and hurt and hurt.

Meeting in houses and tents, Chinas church flourished. Europe, when it built big cathedrals, lost its faith. This country is building bigger and bigger churches. Do you see our faith getting stronger, as our churches get bigger, or weaker?

I would never burn down my church. Burning down the church would set a bad example for my nieces and nephews. It would make me a weight that they had to carry for the rest of their lives, more than I already am. And besides, if I got caught I'd get sent to jail. I went to jail once. I was there for a couple days because I couldn't afford bail money. Jail, for me, was hell. It was noisy. I couldn't be alone. There were too many loud personalities in conflict. It was like living at home. I'd rather die.

Going it alone

I'm not sure how much I'll be posting. I'm having to drop the internet until I get my finances straightened out. I'm going to be doing a lot of journaling. If I get access to the internet, say at the library or something, I'll maybe post some of the work I'll be doing while I'm not watching TV (had to let the cable TV go too) or messing around on the internet. I'm gonna try to really do some internal work on myself, take charge of my own recovery, instead of just drifting along from church to therapist to family and round and round and round, listening to whoever is speaking, not really sure who to believe, not at all sure I trust any of them. Well, forget that, I have a ton of really good books and workbooks, some Christian and some secular, that I have barely even begun. I've always wanted to teach these books, because I've thought that that's what it would take to get me to engage with them. Well, that's not gonna happen for very good reason. You can't teach what you haven't yet learned. They can talk about "facilitating" until they're blue in the face, but it really comes down to teaching. I wanna get my walk to start looking quite a bit more like my talk.

Part D Fiasco

GREENSPAN FOR PRESIDENT

When Republicans suggested Medicare Prescription Drug coverage, I applauded. Generally, I'm into smaller government. But, that hit below my high ideals, right around the area of my pocketbook. I've been trying to figure out how to make Medicare Part D work for me for a couple of days now. I just don't think it's going to.

I'll get into specifics in a minute, but before I lose you, I want to compare Medicare Part D to the whole managed care fiasco. My mom works with managed care. She says the whole thing is just a mess. To control a few fat cat doctors, we created a whole layer of fat cat bureaucracy to carry more and more money out of the whole system, causing the cost of everything to go up. Then, all the doctors and all the hospitals had to hire more personnel to deal with all the forms that this fat cat bureaucracy wanted filled out in triplicate. And the personnel that had to be hired, unfortunately had to be paid pretty well, because the resulting mess requires a MENSA candidate to figure out. Okay, now don't forget, managed care was supposed to SAVE us money, right. Well, have we done the same thing with Medicare prescription drugs, replaced a system that wasn't wonderful, with a whole lot of mid-level bureaucrats who we're going to pay to solve the problem. I just have a bad feeling that the bureaucracy is going to cost us more than the problem was costing us.

I'm on disability for a condition that causes me a lot of anxiety. I have been taking 1 mg of clonazepam (generic Klonopin) every night for a while. None of the plans in this area offer generic Klonopin or Ativan or Xanax (high anxiety meds I could maybe substitute for the Klonopin) So, Medicare Part D means I'm going to have to go off my narcotic unless I can appeal and get it covered. I think I can get my other three drugs for about $76/month. Maybe that doesn't sound like too much to you, but it's about the same as I've been paying . . . except I'll be getting one less drug.

I always assumed that when Congress funded prescriptions for Medicare recipients, they'd seriously cut funding for pharmaceutical companies. If I'm not mistaken, a lot of the funding was given with the understanding that while most of it would of course be used for research, the companies would also offer programs to give complementary medications to the poor. I've been getting free Wellbutrin from Glaxo-Wellcome for years. Wellbutrin is an enormously expensive little drug. I was pretty thankful. It's totally unique. There's nothing else that you can substitute for it. Now, I may have to switch to the generic version. To me, it just doesn't seem to work the same. I'll try it again, though.

I was thinking: What is congress going to do about drug company funding? There are a lot of indigent people who are not on Medicaid or Medicare . . . the working poor, in a way the most unlucky of all. I think Glaxo-Wellcome has thought of this. I have been noticing commercials saying how much they need that research money. Ya know, I wish Alan Greenspan would run for president. I think he's about the only one I'd trust to see the long view.

"House" & "Fight Club"

I just finished watching the first season of "House," a favorite show of mine. I had recently read an online editorial criticizing that show and several others that are favorites of mine for being kind of antisocial, of setting a bad example for people. In each of the shows this guy criticized, the characters mentioned had some pretty negative characteristics. He was right about that. But, "House" and a movie that he criticized, "Fight Club" have something in common. They say some pretty interesting things, things that are true. I got to thinking, what is it about "House" that I like. I think I've got it. In a day of information overload and political correctness, when everone is encouraged to be positive because we think we'll all kill each other off if we don't encourage everyone to play nicely, Dr. House dares to say the negative things that need to be said. After a day of saying positive, politically correct half truths to people that we really don't care for, we come home and turn on "House," where he does what we wish we could do, just tell people the plain, honest truth.

Fight Club is another show (a movie this time) that this columnist criticized. It did the same thing in a way. It said some things that we wanted to hear somebody say, because those things seem true. "Your father left you. . . . Did you ever think that God hates you?" says Tyler Durdan. The things he says ring so true with me, part of me is afraid those things might be true. Tyler teaches an unloved, unwanted generation to take control of its own destiny, in the most horrible way. I would never do the things, any of them, that he advocated. But, I am that generation. That's why I like that movie. It doesn't pat me on the head and reassure me that I'm loved. I'm tired of being patted on the head, as though I was a dog being petted. I have eyes of my own. People can keep telling me that I'm all wrong about everything until kingdom come, but I'm not blind. I wish I was. I can't stop seeing. Christians hate me because, as my therapist would say, I'm one of those people who just won't stop pointing out that there's an elephant in the living room. "Yeah, we know, we know. Hush, now." "Well, . . . Aren't we gonna do something about it?"

Presidential lies

When Clinton lied and Republicans screamed, Democrats acted like they couldn't understand what our problem was. Now, Democrats are screaming that Mr. Bush lied and we're trying to ignore it and sweep it under the rug just like they did. The Grand Old Party ought to be better than that. I've always thought of us as the upright party. We don't dance very well, but we stand up and look problems like Social Security in the eye. If Mr. Bush did something wrong, then one of the best things that he could do for our country would be to set a good example and show that he is not above justice. I don't believe that justice ought to call for him stepping down.

With Mr. Clinton, our country showed that we expect politicians to lie to us. Democrats, you wouldn't let us get rid of Clinton for lying. Your side won. There is a new law in Washington. Our Chief Executive lying to us is now OK. Those are the rules. You made them. And now you're whining because you don't like them. Oh, well. Sorry. We didn't like them either.

Death with Dignity

The love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end.
I don't know if I would have started watching "House" if it hadn't been for that first episode. I had recorded it. When I couldn't sleep, I got up and watched it over and over. My reaction to it was really strange. I felt comforted, fathered. Isn't that wierd. I seem to think that it was right before Christmas, though it might have been in the summer. Whenever. I was hurting. I couldn't tell anybody how or why because I didn't understand myself. The fictional Dr. Greg House, who reminds me a lot of my grandfather, in that program said something that I wanted to hear over and over. You don't die with dignity. To paraphrase: Whether you're 6 or 60, death is always painful and messy; but it's never dignified. You live with dignity, not die with it. I needed to hear that. No matter how much I plot and plan to take my own life with as little pain as possible, every way is gonna be horrible. It probably won't be clean and antiseptic. I'm no Marilyn Monroe. Swallowing so many pills so fast always makes me want to puke whether or not that has anything to do with the chemical composition of the pills. I can just picture waking up in the hospital and being told how somebody found me lying in my own vomit. Disgusting. There's an image you don't forget. Sex is good. Death is bad. That's why God made our bodies such that they really enjoy sex and really don't enjoy death.

Letterman vs. O'Reilly - Coming Conflict

Back in Intro. to Political Science at the University of Arkansas, a really fantastic professor taught something of the histories and political systems of France, Britain and the U.S., among other countries. As is probably obvious when you look at the rest of this site, just staying alive and well takes me a lot of conscious effort, day after day after day. But, I do actually think about other things. For many years, I've worried about the politics in our country. Something that long ago professor taught us has come back a thousand times. The reason that the U.S. and Britain have had such long-lasting, stable governments is, if I remember right, not entirely because of any brilliance in the political system of either country. A lot of the success of these two political systems has been due largely to the simple fact that both countries had populations that largely agreed for the most part politically. Upon hearing this, we looked at our professor like he was insane. He qualified his statement by reminding us of the difference between political parties in our country and in France, where there are scores of political parties, with very sharp ideological differences. Well, my professor said that in 1987. Since then, his words have come back to me again and again. It seems like France, though I keep track of foreign politics even less than I keep track of domestic, is coming together and America is tearing herself apart. Urban divorcing itself from rural.
Last night, I turned on the TV just before West Wing and heard something on Dateline that was disturbing to me. A reporter was talking about the most talked about subjects in the blogosphere (or whatever you call it). He briefly cited a couple of political issues and then seemed to center in on a recent meeting between Bill O'Reilly and David Letterman. This reporter said things that I found to be very offensive. He made a point about pluralism that didn't even come up between Letterman and O'Reilly. He seemed to say that I could respond on www.dateline.msnbc.com. I thought this might be better, though. Christmas is essentially a Christian holiday. To take Christ out of it is intolerant of our religion. It's like my observing Hannukah, but demanding that the observance of Hannukah be changed to accommodate me. I mean, Muslims and Buddhists and whoever else don't have to celebrate Christmas. It is, after all, a Christian holiday. I would understand if they didn't want to. But, they don't have the right to try and change the day we celebrate the coming of the Christ to suit their tastes.

I don't generally watch Letterman. I find him kind of stupid. Neither he nor Leno would know good interview technique if it crawled up and bit them. I did find a recording of the interview, however. I transcribed some little bits of it.

"Our first guest is the host of cable television's #1 news program, the O'Reilly Factor. It can be seen 5 nights a week on FOX News."

Would it not seem reasonable that maybe spending a lot of time insulting and basically calling stupid the host of cable television's #1 news program would be found to be very insulting to a large portion of the country, ya know, the people who make him the #1 news program? Did you think that by making fun of him, you would somehow bring us to our senses? I know you all don't agree, but we believe we have very good reasons for the things that we believe. Calling our leader, and thereby calling us, stupid is not productive. It's not really very bright.

I wasn't aware that this had happened.
You weren't aware of the big, giant controversy over Christmas.

You know, I rarely listen to Bill O'Reilly; but I've heard a lot about this issue this year. I guess I probably heard it on Christian radio. When, he calls it a big, giant controversy, that might be a slight exaggeration. I had been hearing a lot about this, though. How did Dave miss it?

Well, I ignore stuff like that. It doesn't really affect me. I go ahead and do what I want to do.

Do you remember the book 1984? Remember Newspeak, wasn't that what they called it? Orwell made the point so well that by changing the language and history of a culture, you change the thoughts that people in that culture can think. You manipulate them on a grand scale. Here in Arkansas, I was sent to something called Governor's School that Mr. Clinton started when he was our Governor. There, if I wasn't neurotic enough already, I learned that I was responsible for protecting the world from its own blindness and stupidity when it comes to subtle things like this. I'm nobody. I'm disabled. I can't even keep a job. Mr. Letterman is on national TV. If I'm responsible, then why does Mr. Letterman get to "ignore stuff like that. It doesn't really affect me. I go ahead and do what I want to do."

Ridgefield Elementary in Dodgeville, Wisconsin. The song, "Silent Night," knocked out the words Winter winds whine and bite How I wish I was happy and warm, safe with my family, out of the storm." They replaced the words to "Silent Night" with that.

I hear that everyone is calling this a crock just because Mr. O'Reilly didn't explain why they replaced the words, that it was supposedly to facilitate the telling of a story about a little evergreen tree. Why does everybody tell the story of little snowmen and evergreen trees and just absolutely anything besides the unbelievable condescension of the Savior of the world that this Christian holiday is expressly designed to celebrate. Even my 17-year-old non-Christian nephew couldn't understand it this Christmas. His sisters' Christmas program was real cute and all but, he said, what does this have to do with Christmas? He was raised in the church. He knew the story they were supposed to be telling. That was the story he wanted to hear.

Now with all due respect, I even think the Baby Jesus would say, "Give me a break, yah know."

Bill, don't put words in Jesus' mouth. I think there's a verse or two about him takin' a real dim view of that. I could be wrong, but since I'm pickin' apart every word here anyway . . .

I mean, but isn't this the kind of thing where, like, once or twice every twenty years somebody gets outraged, and says, 'Oh, by God, we gotta put diapers on horses.' Isn't it just about . . . So what, let it go. It'll take care of itself.

Dave, do you live in the same world I do? I've been hearin' stuff like this for years and years. Bill O'Reilly is a relatively new guy on the scene. Marlin Maddox passed away a year or so ago, but he'd been tellin' stories like this forever.

Here's why it gets to be more than that. In court, there are lawsuits. Plano, TX. Another grammar school. The kids were told not to bring in any Christmas colors, like napkins that are red and green. That's in court. That's being litigated.

I know that there is a fight to be fought. I know that grammar school children make great copy, good sympathetic victims. We care about these issues in a grammar school, when we should care about them everywhere else. But, the result of this is, we keep putting our smallest children on our battlefields. Our kids grow up in the midst of divorcing parents. The last thing they need is a little more conflict surrounding them.

Now, you can say, okay, it's just a little thing. It doesn't effect you. But, it isn't. The erosion of the culture and the protection of traditions is important in this country.

Let's talk about your friends in the Bush administration. Things seem to be darker now than they might have been heretofore. How do things look to you?

And wasn't that the whole point of inviting Bill O'Reilly to make him answer for Mr. Bush's failings. Exactly what makes Bill O'Reilly responsible for George W. Bush. Did Mr. Letterman think that the usual Bush skewering would just be more fun if there was a live target?

This simplistic stuff about hating Bush, or he lied does the country no good at all. We have to win this thing even though it's a screw up, giant massive, alright. Right now, for everybody's protection, It's best for the world to have a democracy in that country, functioning and friendly to the west. Is it not?
Yes, absolutely.
So let's stop with the lying and the this and the that and the undermining and 'let's get him.' That is putting us all in danger. So, our philosophy is, we call it as we see it. Sometimes you agree; sometimes you don't. Robust debate is good.

The soldiers and marines are noble.

Oh, some of them are really good guys. Some of them aren't. They're people, who we've made pawns, both in the actual war, and in the little word game between liberals and conservatives. Just as much as we should never have demonized Vietnam soldiers, let's not deify today's soldiers. Reality, ya know. Let's think, reality.

They're not terrorists. And when people call them that. Like Cindy Sheehan called the insurgents freedom fighters. We don't like that. It is a vitally important time in American history. We should all take it very seriously and be very careful with what we say.
Well, and you should be very careful with what you say also.
Give me an example. Give me an example.
How can you possibly take exception with the motivation and the position of someone like Cindy Sheehan?

Being a victim doesn't make you right or good. It doesn't even make your motivations spotless and pure. I don't really know much about Cindy Sheehan. I've known a lot of victims, though. We're people, tarnished, damaged, dirty, hurt, occasionally shining. We just are. Given too much attention, victims can become little tyrants. They're still hurting, and honestly all the attention keeps them from healing healthily. Like I say, I know almost nothing about Cindy Sheehan

This is important. This is important. Cindy Sheehan lost a son, a professional soldier in Iraq. Correct?

A blog I read picked up on the words "professional soldier." He said someone had pointed out to him that the men in Iraq had signed on for the risk that they were taking. This seemed a horrible thought to him. I think he said something to the effect that those soldiers signed on assuming responsible leadership. I'd have to question that. Most of the guys I know signed on simply as a way to finance college. None of them had any illusions of responsible leadership. I mean, they knew that they were signing up to be at the mercy of politicians. I can't imagine that there's anybody left in this country who has a lot of respect or trust for politicians. They made a bet. They lost.

She has a right to grieve any way she wants, she has a right to say whatever she wants. When she says to the public that the insurgents are freedom fighters, how do you think, David Letterman, that makes people who've lost loved ones by these people blowing the hell out of them, how do you think they feel? What about their feelings, sir?
What about, why are we there in the first place?

My grandpa used to change the subject everytime he was losing.

The president, himself, less than a month ago, said we are there because of a mistake made in intelligence. Well, whose intelligence. It was just . . . Somebody got off a bus and handed it to him. No, it was the intelligence gathered by his administration. Why are we there in the first place? I agree with you that we have to support the troops. They are there. They are the best and the brightest in this country. There's no doubt about that. I also agree that now we're in it, it's going to take a long, long time. People who expect it to be solved and wrapped up in a couple of years. Unrealistic It's not going to happen. However, however that does not eliminate the legitimate speculation and concern and questioning of "Why the hell are we there to begin with?"
If you want to question that and then revamp an intelligence agency that is obviously flawed, the CIA. But remember, M16 in Britain said the same thing. Putin's people in Russia said the same thing. Mubarak's intelligence people in Egypt.
The intelligence across the board makes it alright.

I don't know whether it makes it alright or not. That's not the point. You just said that it was all our, specifically Mr. Bush's, intelligence. Now Mr. O'Reilly points out that it wasn't all just our intelligence that has the problem. But, Letterman doesn't seem to get the point. A debater he's not.

I'm very concerned about people like yourself who don't have nothing but endless sympathy for a woman like Cindy Sheehan. Honest to Christ. Honest to Christ. I just . . .

Oh, goodness. #1. It's "don't have anything." Don't have nothing is a double negative if I'm not mistaken, and the very idea of a hillbilly from Arkansas correcting you on your grammar, Dave, is pretty bad. #2. When interviewing and trying to skewer a representative of the fundamentalist right, you might want to not use the Lord's name in vain.

I'm not smart enough to debate you point for point on this. But, I have the feeling that about 60% of what you say is crap, but I don't know that for a fact.

If you don't know something for a fact, isn't it responsible journalism to keep you mouth shut until you do know it. And, if you're not smart enough, then get off the air and make way for someone who is; or at least stick to talking about stuff you understand.

60
60% That's just a . . . I'm just spitballing.
Listen, I respect your opinion. You should respect mine. Our analysis is based on the best evidence we could get.

All that tolerance stuff only goes one way. You demand a lot of it from us, but you don't give any of it to us.

Yeah, but I don't think that fair and balanced. I don't think that you represent an objective viewpoint.
I don't think You have to give me an example if you're going to
I don't watch your show so that wouldn't be possible.

What was it I said earlier about interview skills. Dave, have you ever heard of research.

You're going to take things that you've read. Do you know what they say about you? Come on. Come on. Watch it for a half hour. You'll get addicted. You'll be a Factor Fan.

I watched it for days while I was volunteering in Louisiana. It didn't really make me a fan. I agreed with a lot of what Bill said, but sometimes the far right can just get so annoying.